“I can make a firm pledge, under my plan, no family making less than $250,000 a year will see any form of tax increase. Not your income tax, not your payroll tax, not your capital gains taxes, not any of your taxes.”

So critics are claiming our Messiah has gone back on his word here. Ha! What a bone-headed accusation! The problem is that President Obama is simply too smart for his opponents and critics to comprehend. They just don’t know what cerebral means. Our POTUS knows how to play the game, baby! Listen to him. Semantics, people! He did not lie, noooo! To the contrary, our Dear Leader has never submitted an actual “plan” – for anything. It’s all the work of others! So they will take the blame. It’s brilliant, really.

Look, in order to achieve our Utopian ideal, we gotta raise us some money, which means we gotta raise us some taxes. To hell with that ridiculous Laffer Curve concept! How else are we gonna get Obama Stash?