Acorn Souvenirs Item of the Month:
El Presidente!
El Presidente!
Our Dear Leader is doing his best to bestow onto us eager citizens the blessings of a Utopian Socialist existence. Yes, our collective yearnings for "social and economic justice" have been heard loud and clear, and Barry is delivering the goods! From snagging a 60% ownership stake for the government in GM, to his signature act of socializing our nation's healthcare system (and much, much more), we are well on our way now to a Marxist Nirvana!
So in commemoration of this great fundamental transformation of the United States of America, we present to you our latest icon of The One, El Presidente. This bobble head draws inspiration from the best in communist symbols from around the globe: From the Soviet Union we include the classic Hammer and Sickle; from Red China we have the Red Army cap; and as a subtle tribute to our great friend Hugo Chavez (and a hat tip to Obama's mad Spanish skills), we've given this doll its special "El Presidente" moniker.
Available now in our on-line store, El Presidente awaits you!
So in commemoration of this great fundamental transformation of the United States of America, we present to you our latest icon of The One, El Presidente. This bobble head draws inspiration from the best in communist symbols from around the globe: From the Soviet Union we include the classic Hammer and Sickle; from Red China we have the Red Army cap; and as a subtle tribute to our great friend Hugo Chavez (and a hat tip to Obama's mad Spanish skills), we've given this doll its special "El Presidente" moniker.
Available now in our on-line store, El Presidente awaits you!
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Still going strong...
Captain Kickass!
Still going strong...
Captain Kickass!
"I don't sit around talking to experts because this is a college seminar... We talk to these folks because they potentially have the best answers, so I know whose ass to kick!"
President Barack Obama, Today Show interview, June 8, 2010
Our Dear Leader
is under attack!
Progressives and Statists, don't let all the right-wing pundits hoodwink ya'! We've got logical explanations for all the things President Obama has said in public that might otherwise be construed as non-sensical, unintelligent or downright idiotic. Check out our exclusive BarryBlog whenever you need ammunition to counter-argue with your righty friends and colleagues.
is under attack!
Progressives and Statists, don't let all the right-wing pundits hoodwink ya'! We've got logical explanations for all the things President Obama has said in public that might otherwise be construed as non-sensical, unintelligent or downright idiotic. Check out our exclusive BarryBlog whenever you need ammunition to counter-argue with your righty friends and colleagues.
When the US Constitution threatens to put the brakes on the country's sorely needed transformation into a progressive statist paradise, who ya' gonna call? Captain Kickass, of course!
Indeed, Captain Kickass has kicked so much ass over the past couple years that it's getting hard to keep it all straight. And we're not just talking about his golf game! Among his more dazzling achievements this past summer, few feats can top the way Captain Kickass turned the brass at BP into putty and ordered up a $20 billion bounty, despite legislation in place that otherwise limited the company's liability to a fraction of that. And don't forget Captain Kickass's artful manipulation of the Commerce Clause to ram through ObamaCare... Passage of that stinker was an act of ass-kicking beauty, baby!
Complete with detachable golf club and teleprompter (aka, idiot board) accessories, your Captain Kickass bobble head will serve to inspire you throughout the day as he emanates pure awesomeness. Captain Kickass is available in two different ass-kicking models in our exclusive on-line store. Order yours today!
Indeed, Captain Kickass has kicked so much ass over the past couple years that it's getting hard to keep it all straight. And we're not just talking about his golf game! Among his more dazzling achievements this past summer, few feats can top the way Captain Kickass turned the brass at BP into putty and ordered up a $20 billion bounty, despite legislation in place that otherwise limited the company's liability to a fraction of that. And don't forget Captain Kickass's artful manipulation of the Commerce Clause to ram through ObamaCare... Passage of that stinker was an act of ass-kicking beauty, baby!
Complete with detachable golf club and teleprompter (aka, idiot board) accessories, your Captain Kickass bobble head will serve to inspire you throughout the day as he emanates pure awesomeness. Captain Kickass is available in two different ass-kicking models in our exclusive on-line store. Order yours today!
Legacy of Recovery Summer Special!
Summer is long behind us now, but here at Acorn Souvenirs we're keeping the summer dreams of our White House Messiah alive! No doubt, the Obama Administration's promises for a robust economic recovery will be arriving here soon... Any. Day. Now. So, in celebration of all the soon-to-be-realized economic wonders set in motion by the vaunted Recovery Summer, all Acorn Souvenirs items for sale in our store are subject to a list price discount equivalent to the current US unemployment rate. That's right, during our imminent transition to Economic Super Prosperity, the higher the unemployment rate, the less you pay!
The current "Recovery Summer Legacy" discount: 9.4% = $9.40!
So hurry! Purchase your souvenirs today, because with the way this economic recovery is poised to start raging across the land, the unemployment rate (and your corresponding discount) will soon be approaching ZERO! Unicorns, rainbows and full employment are just around the corner!
Summer is long behind us now, but here at Acorn Souvenirs we're keeping the summer dreams of our White House Messiah alive! No doubt, the Obama Administration's promises for a robust economic recovery will be arriving here soon... Any. Day. Now. So, in celebration of all the soon-to-be-realized economic wonders set in motion by the vaunted Recovery Summer, all Acorn Souvenirs items for sale in our store are subject to a list price discount equivalent to the current US unemployment rate. That's right, during our imminent transition to Economic Super Prosperity, the higher the unemployment rate, the less you pay!
The current "Recovery Summer Legacy" discount: 9.4% = $9.40!
So hurry! Purchase your souvenirs today, because with the way this economic recovery is poised to start raging across the land, the unemployment rate (and your corresponding discount) will soon be approaching ZERO! Unicorns, rainbows and full employment are just around the corner!
Full disclosure, fellow citizens: Our most glorious products celebrating the magnificence of The One are presently manufactured in the state of Arizona. Therefore, should you decide to buy an item here today, you may be committing an act that goes contrary to the wishes of The Peoples Republic of Los Angeles and other locales. We hope this fact does not deter you from making a purchase. Rest assured, proceeds from our current sales are being used to fund an exploratory committee tasked with seeking a more suitable illegal immigrant-friendly locale for Acorn Souvenirs. Naturally, the site we ultimately select will be sympathetic to the utopian promise of Big Government sanctuary cities, and staffed by the best manufacturing labor unions your stimulus money can buy*. Once this locale is identified, we will relocate our operations there immediately. We are confident the resulting quadrupling of the price of our future products will be more than mitigated by your heightened sense of patriotism and the tingle you will feel up your leg as you put our series of commemorative icons to use in your home or office. So hesitate not – purchase with pride your Acorn Souvenirs today!
* We promise our unions will get the job done one way or another!
Still going strong...
Captain Kickass!
Captain Kickass!